The Role of Delusions and Delusional Language in Success
The genesis of this article started after a workshop where I saw the difference between ‘Yes.. But’ and ‘Yes And’ in action.
Is There A Difference Between ‘Yes…. But….’ And ‘Yes…. And…’?
‘Bob I agree with everything you’ve just said… but… you need to look at this another way.’
‘I think you’re right BUT, you’ve missed an important point..’
‘Bob, I agree with everything you’ve just said and there is another thing we need to look at to consider here too..’
You’re delusional if you think all three of the above sentences have the same meaning and outcome when or if you use them.
Bob, I think you’re right and there is another important point that will make the case even more water tight..
‘Yes and’ is the language of co- operation, creativity and building.
‘Yes but’ is the language of separation, judgement, correction and relationship under performance.
Justify Or Grow? – Stories, Self -Delusions And Self Hypnosis
“The human brain is a complex organ with the wonderful power of enabling man to find reasons for continuing to believe whatever it is that he wants to believe.” – Voltaire
The guy came up to me at the dinner of the conference and said:
‘Your session today was really good. I really enjoyed it BUT…, in my area people only buy on price. There’s nothing I can do is there? If people only want the cheapest all this other stuff…
It really won’t work in my area… will it?’
What was he communicating to me – and himself?
What was he really saying to me?
‘I can’t do anything different… Agree with me so I can justify hanging onto my story and the status quo. That way I can complain, blame the Government or head office or my customers or the economy and I can stay comfortable in my own misery and excuses and below par performance.’
Talk about people living with their own hypnosis.
He had hypnotized himself into a reality that nothing can change.
His story going around and around in his head, or when told to others who didn’t have the will or the courage to challenge him, kept him in a world of self-delusion and disempowerment.
He wasn’t asking for help or advice.
He was asking me to conspire with his delusion and agree with his BS.
My job, Rick Charlesworth’s job, your job is not to agree with other people’s disempowering BS – its to challenge them because we care.
Disempowering stories and BS will send you broke.
As Anthony Robbins says ‘80% of Business Success is Psychology and 20% is Systems.’
Get your Psychology right.
You’re way better off with an Empowering Delusion than a Disempowering Delusion.
If you’re going to delude yourself, best delude yourself with the story that you can tackle anything you set your mind to.
Here is some self-delusion that has made millions.
‘If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember, this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse.’ – Walt Disney.
Watch out for disempowering Stories and Self Delusion